Booo to the following…
Radioshack
There is no store I hate more than the pile of shit located in the nearest strip mall known by many as, Radioshack. Everything about it makes me want to throw their own shitty batteries at it. The awful experience of Radioshack starts before you even get out of the car. First you will find yourself in a strip mall looking abandoned since 1988. The only green space in the lot are the weeds coming through the sidewalk cracks. Then you look up and see the magnificently crappy Radioshack sign. You walk in the store at which time the smell of old man diaper hits you in the face. (If your curious about the smell but don’t actually want to go to a Radioshack…a convalescent home would be the place…actually an old persons home sounds more exciting than a Radioshack) They sell absolutely nothing in the store as well. I went in because I was desperate for ink cartridge and of course they didn’t have that. I ask, what the crap is the point of this store? They do sell cell phones however they are the 1988 model like the one used in Saved by the Bell. Fortunately, The dust on the phone comes with it. To make matters worse, the employees are commissioned. So as you look for that 12 inch black and white TV you always wanted, there is some douche bag employee demanding you buy the antennas to go with your junkyard tv. Who the crap is going into a Radioshack and being like…”damn I really need some 1988 antennas for my plasma tv”. I’m all for capitalism but this just makes America look like total fuck ups…
I am the owner of genital warts ointment. I believe that statement is a testament for a new low in my life. Of course, one would have to get action to actually get genital warts so no I don’t actually have the STD. At least people with genital warts got some action, I got nothing and still ended up with the same thing…genital warts ointment. One of my four readers, may be asking the question…Why do you have the ointment? I shall respond by saying well let me take you on the journey in which is entitled, “How I got genital warts ointment”. It all started in the summer of 07 in which I was at a friends house, (we will call this friend Ben Stratman for the sake of anonymity) At Ben’s house one of my dumbass friends thought it would be funny to throw me into the pool, I was not happy about it so I started angrily punching this friend in which at the same time Ben Stratman’s dog bit me thinking I was attacking the dumbass. So now I have a huge ass bite on my leg. I had to get a tetanus shot and went to a dermatologist to look at the bite. Turns out…the thing to cure a bite wound is ointment that is also used to control genital warts. Welcome To buck's world!
Friday, February 8, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Nutty Hair
Booo to the following…
Crazy Haired Ladies
I may not be very talented in a lot of things. I suck at cooking (I recently screwed up Top Roman) I cannot cut for shit. I am dead serious about that, My third grade teacher once called a parent teacher conference to discuss my horrific “scissor cutting skills” However I have two talents I was put on this earth for. First, Dave Mirra BMX video game… For some crappy reason I am absolutely awesome at a video game no one has heard of or gives a shit about. It’s a lot like being a kickass synchronized swimmer or a banging rhythmic dancer…no one cares! Second and much more productive is that I can detect a nutso from a mile-away. I have come to the conclusion that chicks with crazy, oddly shaped hair are nuts. This is not a generalization but scientific fact. These women might have curly hair and let it grow into a disproportionate fro, or have it cut way too short to have the shape of a helmet on top of their crazy head. Either way, they are the type you hear frequently screaming or just saying inappropriate things that should land them in an insane asylum. Society has no room for crazy haired women. I once had one of these living above my apartment. Every time I saw her, she felt compelled to talk to me about really weird shit like asking me if I’ve seen Pee Wee’s Playhouse recently? Or how much fruit she should put in her trail mix. Of course she had some wild nutso hair that was in resemblance of a curly fro but lopsided and kind of all over the place. It looked like a scared cat was perched on her head. Exhibition B showed herself at an In and Out . This one had very short hair for a women. (Kind of like Kurt Warner’s wife’s hair… I bet you she’s nuts) This one was an angry nutso who screamed at In N Out for making her burger too cooked. In N Out was happy to make her a new one but she still wanted to lectured that making it too cooked doesn’t make it taste as good. Who the shit honestly complains about a burger at in n out? These women need to get the crap out of society. America has no use for these weirdoes. They must get normal haircuts and actually take care of their hair or the US should deport them to New Zealand or some shit.
Crazy Haired Ladies
I may not be very talented in a lot of things. I suck at cooking (I recently screwed up Top Roman) I cannot cut for shit. I am dead serious about that, My third grade teacher once called a parent teacher conference to discuss my horrific “scissor cutting skills” However I have two talents I was put on this earth for. First, Dave Mirra BMX video game… For some crappy reason I am absolutely awesome at a video game no one has heard of or gives a shit about. It’s a lot like being a kickass synchronized swimmer or a banging rhythmic dancer…no one cares! Second and much more productive is that I can detect a nutso from a mile-away. I have come to the conclusion that chicks with crazy, oddly shaped hair are nuts. This is not a generalization but scientific fact. These women might have curly hair and let it grow into a disproportionate fro, or have it cut way too short to have the shape of a helmet on top of their crazy head. Either way, they are the type you hear frequently screaming or just saying inappropriate things that should land them in an insane asylum. Society has no room for crazy haired women. I once had one of these living above my apartment. Every time I saw her, she felt compelled to talk to me about really weird shit like asking me if I’ve seen Pee Wee’s Playhouse recently? Or how much fruit she should put in her trail mix. Of course she had some wild nutso hair that was in resemblance of a curly fro but lopsided and kind of all over the place. It looked like a scared cat was perched on her head. Exhibition B showed herself at an In and Out . This one had very short hair for a women. (Kind of like Kurt Warner’s wife’s hair… I bet you she’s nuts) This one was an angry nutso who screamed at In N Out for making her burger too cooked. In N Out was happy to make her a new one but she still wanted to lectured that making it too cooked doesn’t make it taste as good. Who the shit honestly complains about a burger at in n out? These women need to get the crap out of society. America has no use for these weirdoes. They must get normal haircuts and actually take care of their hair or the US should deport them to New Zealand or some shit.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
At Least Better than Kwanzaa
Booo to the following….
Hanukkah
So Hanukkah came and went this year with no one really noticing….as usual. This holiday blows. My hometown is all Christmased up with every house having the white or colored light variety. Not this little Jew boy, he gets a little wax candle. Hanukkah is really quite a bull shit holiday, designed so the little Jewish kids don’t feel left out when the rest of America gets awesome i-pods, DVDs, or like little baby Jesus dolls. I say, let the Christians have their holiday, Jews don’t need a pity holiday especially as dumb a Hanukkah. It is not even an important holiday to us, our 10,000 other crappy holidays a year are more important. It’s a celebration over the fact that some Jews came across a lamp that had enough oil for one day but magically got 8 days from it. So basically we are celebrating the fact that we got a sweet bargain on some light. My question is… what did those people do on the 9th day? Were they just left in the dark saying, “well we had a good run” If you want to celebrate a bargain, celebrate Black Friday after Thanksgiving! Those are some damn good deals…I got Wedding Crashers for 4 bucks. No one even knows when Hanukkah is… I read the LA Times on a daily basis, and there was not one article about how Hanukkah was coming up. I was totally unaware that it was Hanukkah until my mother randomly came up and gave me a USC coaster from a thrift shop. After I threw the used coaster on the table I continued studying for finals. So just like that, not really noticing, Hanukkah came and went overshadowed by the Christmas Starbucks Cups, and Kenny G’s Christmas Hits. The problem is, Hanukkah was never properly marketed with no lovable character that gives shit to people. We have some lame ass dradle song. All non-Jews always say how lucky we are because we get 8 presents. They are unaware that they are 8 shitty presents. Sure the first two days are good, but by the 8th day you get handed a sponge and a mom yelling at you to clean the bathroom with it. So many people get so jazzed up about Christmas most even do a countdown. We countdown the days until Hanukkah is over. My family was so anti- festive this year that we didn’t even light the candles, we now have an old electric menorah that has two broken lights, so apparently there are only 6 nights of Hanukkah in my house. We Jews need to understand that America is a Christian country and leave it at that. At least we are better than Kwanzaa!
King of the Hill
How the crap is this show still on TV? It has been on FOX since 1998 and apparently still has new episodes. I find it funny the new episodes appear during the writers strike which points to the fact, there are no professional writers on that show. I’ve heard no one quote from the show (that includes those fat dorky kids who quote from shows you’ve never heard before…NO DUDE, I’ve never seen Veronica Mars…NO ONE HAS!) My theory is Fox just forgot that the show was still on air, and since no one ever talks about it, it continues to be aired. I would love to find the one dude who religiously watches King of the Hill. My guess is he’s the fat shirtless, man with a cheeto stuck in his bellybutton living in Texas.
No Picks this Week…I’m too lazy.
Hanukkah
So Hanukkah came and went this year with no one really noticing….as usual. This holiday blows. My hometown is all Christmased up with every house having the white or colored light variety. Not this little Jew boy, he gets a little wax candle. Hanukkah is really quite a bull shit holiday, designed so the little Jewish kids don’t feel left out when the rest of America gets awesome i-pods, DVDs, or like little baby Jesus dolls. I say, let the Christians have their holiday, Jews don’t need a pity holiday especially as dumb a Hanukkah. It is not even an important holiday to us, our 10,000 other crappy holidays a year are more important. It’s a celebration over the fact that some Jews came across a lamp that had enough oil for one day but magically got 8 days from it. So basically we are celebrating the fact that we got a sweet bargain on some light. My question is… what did those people do on the 9th day? Were they just left in the dark saying, “well we had a good run” If you want to celebrate a bargain, celebrate Black Friday after Thanksgiving! Those are some damn good deals…I got Wedding Crashers for 4 bucks. No one even knows when Hanukkah is… I read the LA Times on a daily basis, and there was not one article about how Hanukkah was coming up. I was totally unaware that it was Hanukkah until my mother randomly came up and gave me a USC coaster from a thrift shop. After I threw the used coaster on the table I continued studying for finals. So just like that, not really noticing, Hanukkah came and went overshadowed by the Christmas Starbucks Cups, and Kenny G’s Christmas Hits. The problem is, Hanukkah was never properly marketed with no lovable character that gives shit to people. We have some lame ass dradle song. All non-Jews always say how lucky we are because we get 8 presents. They are unaware that they are 8 shitty presents. Sure the first two days are good, but by the 8th day you get handed a sponge and a mom yelling at you to clean the bathroom with it. So many people get so jazzed up about Christmas most even do a countdown. We countdown the days until Hanukkah is over. My family was so anti- festive this year that we didn’t even light the candles, we now have an old electric menorah that has two broken lights, so apparently there are only 6 nights of Hanukkah in my house. We Jews need to understand that America is a Christian country and leave it at that. At least we are better than Kwanzaa!
King of the Hill
How the crap is this show still on TV? It has been on FOX since 1998 and apparently still has new episodes. I find it funny the new episodes appear during the writers strike which points to the fact, there are no professional writers on that show. I’ve heard no one quote from the show (that includes those fat dorky kids who quote from shows you’ve never heard before…NO DUDE, I’ve never seen Veronica Mars…NO ONE HAS!) My theory is Fox just forgot that the show was still on air, and since no one ever talks about it, it continues to be aired. I would love to find the one dude who religiously watches King of the Hill. My guess is he’s the fat shirtless, man with a cheeto stuck in his bellybutton living in Texas.
No Picks this Week…I’m too lazy.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Penguins Suck
Booo to Penguins!
Penguins are shitty birds! I’m getting sick of everyone loving these things. Has anyone even touched a penguin? I’ve never seen so many people love something they don’t really know much about. I used to have no problems with penguins, but since I cannot find people who hate penguins, I’ve taken upon myself to hate them. The things have been featured in so many movies lately its insane. The March of the Penguins, then the Farce of the Penguins, followed by the animated film Happy Feet which has transformed Penguins into super stars. However I prefer to think of penguins in the movie Batman Returns where the main villain was a penguin who looked disgusting just like regular penguins. We don’t know the kind of activities these birds engage in. Most people think of a penguin as a happy go lucky bird that dances on ice. (which is just as gay as a figure skater) They may not be nice at all, and actually steal from one another. There may be a racist penguin or a raping penguin. Do we really want to love a species that engages in raping and pillaging…I think not! What makes the feathered piece of shits so special anyway? They don’t know how to walk but rather waddle around, like a fat person in line for the Cesar Palace Buffet. Sure, they can swim fast but who cares when you live in snow and ice? WHO DOES THAT?? (Maybe the Eskimos, but they don’t count, I do however like their Klondike bars) I know no other normal species that is crazy enough to walk and swim on ice. Anyone who does that is no friend of mine. We as a society need to foucs our attention on Beavers! They are the new species of the future! They actually do shit like build dams and swim in normal temperature waters. Although unknown why they build a dam, it is known its KICKASS! They are always crazy busy doing more important things than those stupid birds up north. Oregon has got it right, they love those beavers, now we must get the whole nation to adopt the beavers as the new cool animal. Ice the Penguin with a damn Beaver!!!
Picks of the Week
College Football( 11/29-12/1)
BC over Virginia Tech
LSU over Tennessee
USC over UCLA
Oregon State over Oregon
BYU over SDSU
West Virginia over Pittsburgh
Oklahoma over Missouri
Arizona State over Arizona
Hawaii over Washington
NFL (Week 13)
Cowboys over Packers
Chargers over Chiefs
Titans over Texans
Colts over Jags
Redskins over Bills
Panthers over 49ers
Vikings over Lions
Fins over Jets
Rams over Falcons
Seahawks over Eagles
Cards over Browns
Broncos over Raiders
Giants over Bears
Saints over Bucks
Steelers over Bengals
Patriots over Ravens
Penguins are shitty birds! I’m getting sick of everyone loving these things. Has anyone even touched a penguin? I’ve never seen so many people love something they don’t really know much about. I used to have no problems with penguins, but since I cannot find people who hate penguins, I’ve taken upon myself to hate them. The things have been featured in so many movies lately its insane. The March of the Penguins, then the Farce of the Penguins, followed by the animated film Happy Feet which has transformed Penguins into super stars. However I prefer to think of penguins in the movie Batman Returns where the main villain was a penguin who looked disgusting just like regular penguins. We don’t know the kind of activities these birds engage in. Most people think of a penguin as a happy go lucky bird that dances on ice. (which is just as gay as a figure skater) They may not be nice at all, and actually steal from one another. There may be a racist penguin or a raping penguin. Do we really want to love a species that engages in raping and pillaging…I think not! What makes the feathered piece of shits so special anyway? They don’t know how to walk but rather waddle around, like a fat person in line for the Cesar Palace Buffet. Sure, they can swim fast but who cares when you live in snow and ice? WHO DOES THAT?? (Maybe the Eskimos, but they don’t count, I do however like their Klondike bars) I know no other normal species that is crazy enough to walk and swim on ice. Anyone who does that is no friend of mine. We as a society need to foucs our attention on Beavers! They are the new species of the future! They actually do shit like build dams and swim in normal temperature waters. Although unknown why they build a dam, it is known its KICKASS! They are always crazy busy doing more important things than those stupid birds up north. Oregon has got it right, they love those beavers, now we must get the whole nation to adopt the beavers as the new cool animal. Ice the Penguin with a damn Beaver!!!
Picks of the Week
College Football( 11/29-12/1)
BC over Virginia Tech
LSU over Tennessee
USC over UCLA
Oregon State over Oregon
BYU over SDSU
West Virginia over Pittsburgh
Oklahoma over Missouri
Arizona State over Arizona
Hawaii over Washington
NFL (Week 13)
Cowboys over Packers
Chargers over Chiefs
Titans over Texans
Colts over Jags
Redskins over Bills
Panthers over 49ers
Vikings over Lions
Fins over Jets
Rams over Falcons
Seahawks over Eagles
Cards over Browns
Broncos over Raiders
Giants over Bears
Saints over Bucks
Steelers over Bengals
Patriots over Ravens
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Festival of Lights?
Boooo to the following….
People who Put Christmas Lights up before Thanksgiving
It is a rule… you get three weeks before Christmas to put up lights. I’m sick of these houses already getting in the holiday spirit before God intended. Having your blown up Santa’s and Snowmen before thanksgiving is like seeing a June bug in December! You just don’t see it and you don’t want to! (Who honestly likes June bugs, they are so annoying and useless… more on June bugs come June.) If you’re just going to keep pushing back the weeks, we’re going to have chaos all over the world, and have lights during the entire year! Its like that stupid light parade at Disneyland that the fatties like so much. I wish there were more decorations for thanksgiving so that people wouldn’t skip over it. It’s a solid holiday, and its being overlooked and ignored by those who are too ready for Christmas. I say nay. I say Yay to thanksgiving!
Too Many Comments in Class
Put your hand down, no one cares when you went to a little village in Africa. It’s always those people who sit in the front of the class too! I mean, could you be any further up your professor’s ass? If you want to talk about your “amazing” trip why don’t you get a shrink or some friends. Even the Ethiopians hated you when you came to visit. Everyone is there to hear the professor, not about how you “changed” Africa… don’t lie, you didn’t do shit.
Picks of the week (Feel free to comment on what an Idiot I am)
People who Put Christmas Lights up before Thanksgiving
It is a rule… you get three weeks before Christmas to put up lights. I’m sick of these houses already getting in the holiday spirit before God intended. Having your blown up Santa’s and Snowmen before thanksgiving is like seeing a June bug in December! You just don’t see it and you don’t want to! (Who honestly likes June bugs, they are so annoying and useless… more on June bugs come June.) If you’re just going to keep pushing back the weeks, we’re going to have chaos all over the world, and have lights during the entire year! Its like that stupid light parade at Disneyland that the fatties like so much. I wish there were more decorations for thanksgiving so that people wouldn’t skip over it. It’s a solid holiday, and its being overlooked and ignored by those who are too ready for Christmas. I say nay. I say Yay to thanksgiving!
Too Many Comments in Class
Put your hand down, no one cares when you went to a little village in Africa. It’s always those people who sit in the front of the class too! I mean, could you be any further up your professor’s ass? If you want to talk about your “amazing” trip why don’t you get a shrink or some friends. Even the Ethiopians hated you when you came to visit. Everyone is there to hear the professor, not about how you “changed” Africa… don’t lie, you didn’t do shit.
Picks of the week (Feel free to comment on what an Idiot I am)
College Football (11/22-11/24)
USC over ASU
LSU over Arkansas
Texas over Texas A&M
Hawaii over Boise State
Missouri over Kansas
West Virginia over Connecticut
Georgia over Georgia Tech
Virginia Tech over Virginia
UCLA over Oregon
Oklahoma over Oklahoma St
Florida over FSU
BC over Miami
Tennessee over Kentucky
South Carolina over Clemson
South Florida over Pittsburgh
Cincinnati over Syracuse
BYU over Utah
NFL (Week 12)
Packers over Lions
Cowboys over Jets
Colts over Falcons
Seahawks over Rams
Giants over Vikings
Jags over Bills
Saints over Panthers
Redskins over Bucks
Browns over Texans
Titans over Bengals
Chiefs over Raiders
Cardinals over 49ers
Chargers over Ravens
Broncos over Bears
Patriots over Eagles
Steelers over Fins
USC over ASU
LSU over Arkansas
Texas over Texas A&M
Hawaii over Boise State
Missouri over Kansas
West Virginia over Connecticut
Georgia over Georgia Tech
Virginia Tech over Virginia
UCLA over Oregon
Oklahoma over Oklahoma St
Florida over FSU
BC over Miami
Tennessee over Kentucky
South Carolina over Clemson
South Florida over Pittsburgh
Cincinnati over Syracuse
BYU over Utah
NFL (Week 12)
Packers over Lions
Cowboys over Jets
Colts over Falcons
Seahawks over Rams
Giants over Vikings
Jags over Bills
Saints over Panthers
Redskins over Bucks
Browns over Texans
Titans over Bengals
Chiefs over Raiders
Cardinals over 49ers
Chargers over Ravens
Broncos over Bears
Patriots over Eagles
Steelers over Fins
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Not Such a "Small" World After All
Booo to the following…
Fat People at Disneyland
Its official, fat people outweigh skinny people as the majority in America. 65 % of Americans are considered overweight. With more and more people overweight, I may have to marry a fat chick. If so, I’m going to be pissed! Just this past week a new story came out in the LA Times saying that the Small World attraction at Disneyland had to close down in order to make the water deeper because the boats have been bottoming out. There are certain spots on the attraction where the boats get stuck and Disneyland has to kick the fat asses off. Disneyland claims the boats are getting old and that is why it is getting stuck. We all know the real reason is the big fat fatties. This is getting to be a serious problem in America. Being fat creates adverse health damages like diabetes. Furthermore, it creates damage to society having to see, sit next to, and smell these fatties. The rest of the world has an image of America as just huge disgusting people. America needs an image of Switzerland or Norway, where everyone thinks the chicks are hot. I’ve got an even bigger problem with Disneyland because they are perpetuating the notion that it is ok to be fat in society. Why do you think you see so many fat asses at this place? I would say 70% of the visitors are fat enough to get kicked off “Small World.” People at Disneyland come there thinking no one cares what they look like and Mickey Mouse loves everyone the same. I SAY NAY! Fat people need to realize they are still fat even in the gates of Disneyland. Instead of making up a lame excuse as to why “small world” needs to be repaired, Disney should flat out say, “we have to close because your fat asses are stopping the ride”. They will never do that though, they know they make most of their money off the fat class. The fatties love their huge turkey drumsticks. What are we servs in Medieval times? What kind of people are we, where we don’t even need plates but rather inhale a whole turkey. Disneyland should cut the foreplay and inject fat into their visitors’ veins. It sure would save a lot of turkey. Its time to discriminate against the fat people and make them feel unwelcome in society. These people can change and Disneyland needs to help by keeping the ride open with a sign, ”NO FAT PEOPLE”
Lakers not getting Kevin Garnett
Lakers are an average 4-3 and the Celtics are a League Best 7-0 in the first three weeks of the season. I know I said last week how well the Lakers are playing but that is with the notion that the Lakers do not have much talent. Over the off season, the two teams, Kevin Garnett wanted to go to were the Boston Celtics or the Los Angeles Lakers. Boston was willing to give pretty much their entire roster except Paul Pierce and Ray Allen to the Minnesota Timberwolves. Lakers on the other hand did not want to give up any of their players. The Lakers really messed up here. Kevin Garnett is an outstanding teammate. He has been paying for his whole team to go to Patriots games, and providing spending sprees when they played pre-seasons games in London. Coming to Boston, Garnett flat out said that the Celtics were Paul Pierce’s team and he was along for the ride. Kevin Garnett would have been a great addition to the Lakers’ line up as a cohesive glue to bridge the differences the team had. To get a great player and an even greater person in Kevin Garnett, the Lakers should have been doing whatever it took and giving up as many players as they could for Garnett. Lakers GM Mitch Kupchick is clearly wanting to save his players for the future. However, in the sports world it is, “what have you done for me lately” and the Lakers haven’t done shit.
Now For the Picks of the Week….(Be sure to tell me what a dumb shit I am)
College Football (11/15-11/17)
Oregon over Arizona
Hawaii over Nevada
Michigan over Ohio State
Florida over Florida Atlantic
Connecticut over Syracuse
Missouri over Kansas State
Georgia over Kentucky
LSU over Mississippi
Wisconsin over Minnesota
Cincinnati over West Virginia
BC over Clemson
Oklahoma over Texas Tech
NFL (Week 11)
Browns over Ravens
Jags over Chargers
Eagles over Fins
Vikings over Raiders
Packers over Panthers
Giants over Lions
Bucks over Falcons
Saints over Texans
Cards over Bengals
Steelers over Jets
Seahawks over Bears
Rams over 49ers
Cowboys over Redskins
Patriots over Bills
Fat People at Disneyland
Its official, fat people outweigh skinny people as the majority in America. 65 % of Americans are considered overweight. With more and more people overweight, I may have to marry a fat chick. If so, I’m going to be pissed! Just this past week a new story came out in the LA Times saying that the Small World attraction at Disneyland had to close down in order to make the water deeper because the boats have been bottoming out. There are certain spots on the attraction where the boats get stuck and Disneyland has to kick the fat asses off. Disneyland claims the boats are getting old and that is why it is getting stuck. We all know the real reason is the big fat fatties. This is getting to be a serious problem in America. Being fat creates adverse health damages like diabetes. Furthermore, it creates damage to society having to see, sit next to, and smell these fatties. The rest of the world has an image of America as just huge disgusting people. America needs an image of Switzerland or Norway, where everyone thinks the chicks are hot. I’ve got an even bigger problem with Disneyland because they are perpetuating the notion that it is ok to be fat in society. Why do you think you see so many fat asses at this place? I would say 70% of the visitors are fat enough to get kicked off “Small World.” People at Disneyland come there thinking no one cares what they look like and Mickey Mouse loves everyone the same. I SAY NAY! Fat people need to realize they are still fat even in the gates of Disneyland. Instead of making up a lame excuse as to why “small world” needs to be repaired, Disney should flat out say, “we have to close because your fat asses are stopping the ride”. They will never do that though, they know they make most of their money off the fat class. The fatties love their huge turkey drumsticks. What are we servs in Medieval times? What kind of people are we, where we don’t even need plates but rather inhale a whole turkey. Disneyland should cut the foreplay and inject fat into their visitors’ veins. It sure would save a lot of turkey. Its time to discriminate against the fat people and make them feel unwelcome in society. These people can change and Disneyland needs to help by keeping the ride open with a sign, ”NO FAT PEOPLE”
Lakers not getting Kevin Garnett
Lakers are an average 4-3 and the Celtics are a League Best 7-0 in the first three weeks of the season. I know I said last week how well the Lakers are playing but that is with the notion that the Lakers do not have much talent. Over the off season, the two teams, Kevin Garnett wanted to go to were the Boston Celtics or the Los Angeles Lakers. Boston was willing to give pretty much their entire roster except Paul Pierce and Ray Allen to the Minnesota Timberwolves. Lakers on the other hand did not want to give up any of their players. The Lakers really messed up here. Kevin Garnett is an outstanding teammate. He has been paying for his whole team to go to Patriots games, and providing spending sprees when they played pre-seasons games in London. Coming to Boston, Garnett flat out said that the Celtics were Paul Pierce’s team and he was along for the ride. Kevin Garnett would have been a great addition to the Lakers’ line up as a cohesive glue to bridge the differences the team had. To get a great player and an even greater person in Kevin Garnett, the Lakers should have been doing whatever it took and giving up as many players as they could for Garnett. Lakers GM Mitch Kupchick is clearly wanting to save his players for the future. However, in the sports world it is, “what have you done for me lately” and the Lakers haven’t done shit.
Now For the Picks of the Week….(Be sure to tell me what a dumb shit I am)
College Football (11/15-11/17)
Oregon over Arizona
Hawaii over Nevada
Michigan over Ohio State
Florida over Florida Atlantic
Connecticut over Syracuse
Missouri over Kansas State
Georgia over Kentucky
LSU over Mississippi
Wisconsin over Minnesota
Cincinnati over West Virginia
BC over Clemson
Oklahoma over Texas Tech
NFL (Week 11)
Browns over Ravens
Jags over Chargers
Eagles over Fins
Vikings over Raiders
Packers over Panthers
Giants over Lions
Bucks over Falcons
Saints over Texans
Cards over Bengals
Steelers over Jets
Seahawks over Bears
Rams over 49ers
Cowboys over Redskins
Patriots over Bills
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Bikes, Married Hot Chicks, and Lakers (for good measure)
Booooo to the following items…
Gender Bikes
It has recently come to my attention that the bike I’ve been riding for two years is a women’s bike ☹ My friend was like…”dude your riding a chicks bike” and I immediately grew sad. It turns out that because some bar on the bike is lower, makes it a chicks bike because its easier to get on it. I had no idea there was even a difference… what is this?? I have so many questions on this subject that maybe my readership can answer. (although my readership consists of a whole three people, I will refer to them, as my readership making is sound cooler) Why does there even need to be a difference in bikes? If the only difference is a lowered bar to make it easier to get on, then why don’t just all bikes have the lower bar?? There is no purpose to have the high bar, it’s just an obstacle to get on the bike. Now that I think about my past bikes, that high bar was a bitch. This bar issue has caused me much stress for the whole 10 minuets I thought about this issue and therefore, all bikes should be the same. There should be no gender disparity on bikes! CASE CLOSED!
Engaged Chicks in My Classes
This year makes for a record year of girls in my classes that are engaged. Of course they happen to be the cute ones of the class as well. I don’t know many ugly chicks that get engaged early. Ugly chicks are like the nerds you pick last for your dodge ball team. You pick the ones that make you a winner. These dudes who are making these hot women their wife are very smart. They know there are putz’s like me who would try to hit on these girls if it wasn’t for that damn ring. However, this makes my life shittier. First day of class back in September, I was elated to find a beautiful girl sitting right behind me. Just as I was getting pumped to go and talk to her, she announces to the class in introductions that she just got engaged. I only had one thought after registering this news, GOD DAMNIT!!! It took every ounce of effort not to say that phrase out loud as everyone was telling her congratulations. The worst part is they are in my classes. I have found that the easiest way to meet women is in class because there is always an ice breaker. When in doubt just talk about how crappy the teacher is or how hard the test will be. BOOM...instant conversation starter. But, these engaged girls now serve no purpose in class. They might as well be dudes without a shirt or a tuna sandwich (I don't eat fish). USELESS! Girls need to not get engaged and give ole Buck a shot!
Yay for….
Los Angeles Lakers
Although the season is only a week old and the Lakers have a (2-2) record, they have been playing great! I’m still waiting for the Lakers offense to screw up and watch Kobe Bryant chuck threes all day. However, I have been pleasantly surprised to find the whole team playing collectively. Over the past three games, the Lakers are receiving a much-needed boost from their bench. The reserves are averaging a league high 40 points per game. The bench scored 67 of the Lakers’ 119-98 win vs. Phoenix last Friday. Both 20 year olds, Jordan Farmar and Andrew Bynum have provided much needed enthusiasm in getting the ball inside for high percentage shots. If this team continues to play great defense with rigorous hustle and intensity, look for the Lakers to finish better than their .500 record they have now.
Now for the picks of the week… Feel free to tell me how idiotic these picks are!
College Football (11/8-11/10)
West Virginia over Louisville
Michigan Over Wisconsin
Clemson over Wake Forest
Penn State over Temple
Alabama over Mississippi State
Arkansas over Tennessee
Kentucky over Vanderbilt
Boise State over Utah State
Ohio State over Arizona State
ASU over UCLA
Auburn over Georgia
Virginia Tech over Florida State
Connecticut over Cincinnati
Texas over Texas Tech
Virginia over Miami
South Carolina over Florida
Kansas over Oklahoma State
Boston College over Maryland
USC over California
Hawaii over Fresno State
NFL (Week 10)
Steelers over Browns
Redskins over Eagles
Panthers over Falcons
Saints over Rams
Bills over Fins
Chiefs over Broncos
Titans over Jags
Packers over Vikings
Ravens over Bengals
Cowboys over Giants
Lions over Cardinals
Raiders over Bears
Colts over Chargers
Gender Bikes
It has recently come to my attention that the bike I’ve been riding for two years is a women’s bike ☹ My friend was like…”dude your riding a chicks bike” and I immediately grew sad. It turns out that because some bar on the bike is lower, makes it a chicks bike because its easier to get on it. I had no idea there was even a difference… what is this?? I have so many questions on this subject that maybe my readership can answer. (although my readership consists of a whole three people, I will refer to them, as my readership making is sound cooler) Why does there even need to be a difference in bikes? If the only difference is a lowered bar to make it easier to get on, then why don’t just all bikes have the lower bar?? There is no purpose to have the high bar, it’s just an obstacle to get on the bike. Now that I think about my past bikes, that high bar was a bitch. This bar issue has caused me much stress for the whole 10 minuets I thought about this issue and therefore, all bikes should be the same. There should be no gender disparity on bikes! CASE CLOSED!
Engaged Chicks in My Classes
This year makes for a record year of girls in my classes that are engaged. Of course they happen to be the cute ones of the class as well. I don’t know many ugly chicks that get engaged early. Ugly chicks are like the nerds you pick last for your dodge ball team. You pick the ones that make you a winner. These dudes who are making these hot women their wife are very smart. They know there are putz’s like me who would try to hit on these girls if it wasn’t for that damn ring. However, this makes my life shittier. First day of class back in September, I was elated to find a beautiful girl sitting right behind me. Just as I was getting pumped to go and talk to her, she announces to the class in introductions that she just got engaged. I only had one thought after registering this news, GOD DAMNIT!!! It took every ounce of effort not to say that phrase out loud as everyone was telling her congratulations. The worst part is they are in my classes. I have found that the easiest way to meet women is in class because there is always an ice breaker. When in doubt just talk about how crappy the teacher is or how hard the test will be. BOOM...instant conversation starter. But, these engaged girls now serve no purpose in class. They might as well be dudes without a shirt or a tuna sandwich (I don't eat fish). USELESS! Girls need to not get engaged and give ole Buck a shot!
Yay for….
Los Angeles Lakers
Although the season is only a week old and the Lakers have a (2-2) record, they have been playing great! I’m still waiting for the Lakers offense to screw up and watch Kobe Bryant chuck threes all day. However, I have been pleasantly surprised to find the whole team playing collectively. Over the past three games, the Lakers are receiving a much-needed boost from their bench. The reserves are averaging a league high 40 points per game. The bench scored 67 of the Lakers’ 119-98 win vs. Phoenix last Friday. Both 20 year olds, Jordan Farmar and Andrew Bynum have provided much needed enthusiasm in getting the ball inside for high percentage shots. If this team continues to play great defense with rigorous hustle and intensity, look for the Lakers to finish better than their .500 record they have now.
Now for the picks of the week… Feel free to tell me how idiotic these picks are!
College Football (11/8-11/10)
West Virginia over Louisville
Michigan Over Wisconsin
Clemson over Wake Forest
Penn State over Temple
Alabama over Mississippi State
Arkansas over Tennessee
Kentucky over Vanderbilt
Boise State over Utah State
Ohio State over Arizona State
ASU over UCLA
Auburn over Georgia
Virginia Tech over Florida State
Connecticut over Cincinnati
Texas over Texas Tech
Virginia over Miami
South Carolina over Florida
Kansas over Oklahoma State
Boston College over Maryland
USC over California
Hawaii over Fresno State
NFL (Week 10)
Steelers over Browns
Redskins over Eagles
Panthers over Falcons
Saints over Rams
Bills over Fins
Chiefs over Broncos
Titans over Jags
Packers over Vikings
Ravens over Bengals
Cowboys over Giants
Lions over Cardinals
Raiders over Bears
Colts over Chargers
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