I don’t know about you but I’m starting to get that Las Vegas fever. Just as timely as a menstrual cycle, my Vegasness comes exactly 3 months after my last visit. It’s a tough fever to break and the only prescription is two solid nights on the strip. It’s important to note that one night is not enough Vegas and three nights is just a bad idea. The extra night’s events will leave you wondering why you thought it was a good idea to go to a strip club because a midget dressed up as a leprechaun told you to do it. (Not like that happened to me or anything…) What I like most about the strip is there is so much to do; any one person can make it their own. I prefer the pool, drink, pass out, gamble, drink, pass out, club, drink, pass out approach. What I don’t get are the people who do the touristy Vegas. The one’s where they just kind of walk the strip aimlessly in their “whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” t-shirts. These folk are easy to spot; just look for the giant 10-foot drinks hanging from their necks. The sure fire way to NOT get any ass in the land of ass is to walk around with these drinks. Slurping on a straw is one of the least attractive things a person could do in public, and these drinks magnify this action by 100 percent when the drink is attached to your neck. I’ve never met a lady who can’t get enough of a drunken dude sucking down on some purple drink all day. All I’m saying is that we need to class up Vegas a bit. I’m pretty sure the party gods did not bestow Vegas onto us in hopes that we would walk the “holy land” with purple stained teeth and Elvis glasses on our way to Circus Circus. That’s why I stay at the Flamingo.
