Makes No Cents

I have a huge change problem. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself. Everyday for the past 2 years I’ve been empting my change into my drawer. Well now my drawer can’t even close with so many quarters and stupid pennies. What does the rest of the world do with all these nickels and dimes? How does no one else have this problem? I’ve explored two options, first is take the coins to Vons at a Coinstar but then they take some commission, so that’s a no. The second is roll it up myself and give it to the bank however I’m horrible at arts and crafts and rolling up change is like origami to me. I could just pay someone to roll it up... But then I would be just paying the dude in the change I accumulated and that would be a feedback loop. (I’ve had the hardest time figuring out what exactly is a feedback loop…I always thought it was some cool new ride at Magic Mountain) Coins are nothing but trick money if you ask me. The U.S. Treasury goes, “hey this is money” but in reality its like the WNBA…worthless. Its kind of like that prank where you tape a dollar to a piece of string and place it on the ground and when someone bends over to pick up the buck, you whip it away and say, "sucks for you jerkass". The government is tricking us with this so called “money” in fraction form. I will have none of this…