There are many things I’m good at, such as writing new facebook status updates and watching Sportcenter. However, I’m a little less adept on things such as stretching. If there were anything I wasn’t put on this earth for, it would be bending. My lack of flexibility is an embarrassing reality that must be fixed. So I decided to take on Yoga at my gym. I came waltzing into the class unaware of the hellish experience I was about to endure. Yoga is like a perfect storm of things I suck at. You have to be flexible and you need normal looking feet (saying my feet are scary looking would be an understatement) Of course I must have showed up at the "experts-only" class because every student was putting their legs in places I’ve never dreamed possible. Then of course there is Yoga Guy who must’ve had some black belt in the stretching activity. Yoga guy always sits in the front of the class thinking he’s the instructor. He is decked out with intense yoga gear from the best mat to the nicest spandex. As much as I hate Yoga guy, I feel America should strive to be him. He is usually patient and balanced and equipped with a ponytail. Additionally, he always says the right things, and may even play some guitar. So with Yoga Guy and everyone else doing the salted pretzel, crouching monkey, licking lizard or whatever the poses are called, I was the asshole in the back that couldn’t touch his toes. With that said, I bet my form on the couch watching Sportcenter would blow any Yogaer out of the water!
