An Infuriating Ass

Something infuriating happened to me today. I was at the gym and there was a gorgeous girl working out. I began the "checking out" process. Great face, terrific upper body and tight spandex pants. Let's just say I liked what I saw. Then something awful happened, I noticed a sweatshirt tied around her hips. In a 98 degree day, the sweatshirt merely acted as a prop in a cruel game to hide her terrific ass! (I'm most defiantly an ass man... don't get me wrong, what guy doesn't like boobs... but the ass is what separates the hotties from the notties) 85% of the reason I go to the gym is to check out hot ass chicks. (Hot girls at a gym are a must otherwise its just a bunch of buff dudes trying to out steroid each other). Why a woman would wear tight clothing to the gym but hide the best part is just stupid! Clearly they have a great body if they are always in the gym. The whole reason she was at the gym was to get that ass in shape and let me tell you, I bet that thing was gooood. But sadly I will never know for sure will I??? Her ass acted as a gigantic tease much like waiving a banana in front of a monkey.

It's No Fun

I hate the word “fun.” I grow immediately suspicious when the word is used. When the word is used half the time it is used incorrectly. People use it to try and get you to do things. “Common it will be fun!” Anytime some one says it will be fun, immediately walk away, it will suck!! If something was really that fun no one would need to explain how fun it would be, the activity should speak for it self. Don’t get me wrong. I love to have a good time, but I never need to tell people I had fun, people will KNOW if I had fun.

One day I was walking out of Ralph’s and saw their ad to get new hires saying that i Ralph's is a “fun enjoyable work experience” When the crap would working at Ralphs ever be fun?!?, is it when your in the heat chasing down shopping carts?? I just don’t see it.

I’ll tell you what else isn’t fun, eating Fun Size candy bars. What the shit is that about? That’s not fun! That’s just a small ass candy bar. If you ask me it’s merely a tease saying, “here have some FUN chocolaty goodness than two seconds later, “oh wait you have no more candy bitchass!” It’s like a chocolaty version of blue balls.

Next, is Six Flags. Their slogan is, “more flags, more fun” What does that even mean?? If more flags equals more fun then why isn’t it called 1 million flags? According to them, that would be a lot more fun than just 6 flags. I say nay, no one needs a lot of flags. I’m more of a one flag, maybe two flag kind of guy. If I had a choice of flags it would be the American flag and California flag. Why else would you need another flag? Quite honestly never have I been around a flag and had fun. Sure it was enjoyable to wave the flag around and act like you’re in the Patriot, but that good time lasts about five minuets. I think it is safe to say that flags and fun do not go together.

p.s. I wrote this whole thing while at work, I’m pretty sure what I wrote had nothing to do with what I was supposed to do. Lesson for you kids out there…what ever you do at work, just look serious and type fast and you’re in the clear.