Friday, February 8, 2008

Radioshit and Ointment

Booo to the following…
Radioshack

There is no store I hate more than the pile of shit located in the nearest strip mall known by many as, Radioshack. Everything about it makes me want to throw their own shitty batteries at it. The awful experience of Radioshack starts before you even get out of the car. First you will find yourself in a strip mall looking abandoned since 1988. The only green space in the lot are the weeds coming through the sidewalk cracks. Then you look up and see the magnificently crappy Radioshack sign. You walk in the store at which time the smell of old man diaper hits you in the face. (If your curious about the smell but don’t actually want to go to a Radioshack…a convalescent home would be the place…actually an old persons home sounds more exciting than a Radioshack) They sell absolutely nothing in the store as well. I went in because I was desperate for ink cartridge and of course they didn’t have that. I ask, what the crap is the point of this store? They do sell cell phones however they are the 1988 model like the one used in Saved by the Bell. Fortunately, The dust on the phone comes with it. To make matters worse, the employees are commissioned. So as you look for that 12 inch black and white TV you always wanted, there is some douche bag employee demanding you buy the antennas to go with your junkyard tv. Who the crap is going into a Radioshack and being like…”damn I really need some 1988 antennas for my plasma tv”. I’m all for capitalism but this just makes America look like total fuck ups…

I am the owner of genital warts ointment. I believe that statement is a testament for a new low in my life. Of course, one would have to get action to actually get genital warts so no I don’t actually have the STD. At least people with genital warts got some action, I got nothing and still ended up with the same thing…genital warts ointment. One of my four readers, may be asking the question…Why do you have the ointment? I shall respond by saying well let me take you on the journey in which is entitled, “How I got genital warts ointment”. It all started in the summer of 07 in which I was at a friends house, (we will call this friend Ben Stratman for the sake of anonymity) At Ben’s house one of my dumbass friends thought it would be funny to throw me into the pool, I was not happy about it so I started angrily punching this friend in which at the same time Ben Stratman’s dog bit me thinking I was attacking the dumbass. So now I have a huge ass bite on my leg. I had to get a tetanus shot and went to a dermatologist to look at the bite. Turns out…the thing to cure a bite wound is ointment that is also used to control genital warts. Welcome To buck's world!

1 comment:

The Austrian Wonder said...

hahaha! genital worts' ointment owner you! that sucks....