No More Birthdays!!

You’re an idiot if you…..

Countdown to your birthday:

I’m really sick of people counting down to their birthday as if the whole world just can’t wait for the “special” day to arrive. By the way, I really hate when people use the word “special.” If you ask me “special” should only refer those who are forced to ride the short bus to school. Birthday countdown people usually don't get enough attention for being their pathetic selves so they rely on their birthday to be treated “special.” I can treat them “special” by throwing a chocolate cake in their face. Speaking of cake, guess who loves their birthday most? Who else but the fat assess. They feel entitled to have as much cake as possible just because it’s their birthday. Why you think they countdown till the day they get to eat cake “guilt free”? The fatties somehow overlook the fact that I’m still staring at their jigglly ass as they chomp down on some ice cream cake. If only we can dangle some of that ice cream cake in front of them as they run on a treadmill we would have a much healthier society. There is too much emphasis on birthdays. After the age of 5 no one should have birthday parties. We are forced to crowd around the birthday person and laugh at all of their dumb jokes and pretend like we give a shit about their life. Don’t get me wrong; I think society should be celebrating, just not birthdays. We need to celebrate accomplishments like 4th of July or the day the hot pocket was invented. If you want to celebrate something, celebrate the fact you can have a bit of flakey goodness in just two minuets!! Luckily, my birthday falls on St. Patrick’s Day where I don’t have to worry about celebrating; the whole world turns Irish and therefore alcoholics for the day. (As a one-time visitor of Ireland, I can attest that the country most defiantly has a drinking problem). I have news for the fat-ass cake eaters, no one cares it’s your birthday, stop counting!