What I Know About Women

I have come to the realization I know nothing about women (probably the reason I’m still single). I also don't know anything about rocket science, brain surgery, or how to make EasyMac (I keep putting the wrong amount of water in). However, the women thing is something I’m determined to get to the bottom of considering I spend my weekends “chasing” them. I came to this realization when I had the opportunity of going into the epicenter of "chick town" otherwise known as a sorority house. I felt like the crocodile hunter on safari, observing a girls natural habitat. The house is beautiful and spotless looking better than the White House. However, what is most striking is the fact there are seating areas for as far as the eye can see. That’s when it hit me that women have one common interest and that is to talk! I’m convinced that the only reason we have holidays or formal events is for women to talk about them before and after. It gives them an opportunity to discuss what they are going to wear, who is going to be there, and whatever else they talk about. Additionally, women constantly keep saying how “excited” they are for (insert Spring Break, Vegas Trip, Christmas, Birthday, Valentine’s Day, or Oprah Show here). However, I see right though their shenanigans! Girls are really just saying they are excited about the anticipation before or debrief after and not the actual event itself. Many times, women hype up an event so much that the actual event becomes a huge letdown and use the weeklong debrief talking about how disappointing it was (i.e. hooking up with me). As part of the male gender, I can firmly say that our gender is full of dumb shits like NFL Player Pac Man Jones (He got in a fight with his own bodyguard) but we do know how to enjoy the present moment. For once, maybe girls can learn a thing or two from guys.