Scarf Down This!

As my four readers already know, I’m not exactly an innovator as much as a complainer. However, if I see something disturbing I’m going to call it out. Today my beef is with scarves. It is currently 81 degrees in LA yet I’ve seen at least four scarves and it was all before the lunch hour. The act of scarf wearing is at an all-time high and must be stopped. On rare occasions one might see a “man scarf.” There is nothing more emasculating then for a man to be wearing a scarf. Maybe it’s acceptable on the East Coast or France but around here every man wearing a scarf should be slapped in the face with the one they have on. It could be that I’m from the temperate climate of LA but I don’t get the appeal of a scarf. It’s only true purpose is to warm the neck however every time I’ve been in cold weather the warming of the neck is the least of my worries, usually I solve the problem with a jacket. In LA, these knitted contraptions are clearly just an accessory. However, I’m a firm believer that all accessories must have a point to them. For instance a purse is quite helpful to carry all your shit or a watch to tell you your ass is late for something. In retaliation for these despicable “scarfers” I too should wear something completely useless, a cape. I will tell people as I’m walking around that my cape is aimed to warm my back. Truthfully I would look about as ridiculous as a dude wearing a scarf anyway. However, knowing the kind of trendsetter that I am, within a few weeks there will be a “cape section” at the gap which would defeat the purpose entirely. Bottom line: LA needs to come together and put an end to the scarfing or else a slippery slope ensues and we are all wearing berets.