God I hate Halloween

I’ve got a problem with….

Halloween

This holiday sucks! Nothing good comes out of Halloween except hot girls dressed as their favorite whores. Don’t get me wrong, it was a great holiday…when I WAS 5. I don’t like candy, dressing up, or scary things. Also! What’s the deal with pumpkins?? Those things are tasty but only in pumpkin pie which you don’t eat until Thanksgiving for another month! Pumpkins are useless on Halloween, carving them sucks and you cant eat a raw pumpkin so there is no point. You have to take out a bunch of slimy shit and cut. It is way too much of an arts and crafts project, which everyone knows I’m terrible at. Speaking of which, why aren’t pumpkins made in the spring and summer? I wouldn’t mind having some pumpkin pie in June. That would be mighty fine! While I’m on the subject, egg nog needs to be year round too. It is seasonalist to not allow someone to buy egg nog or pumpkins in June and therefore unconstitutional! Don’t give me that, “well pumpkins don’t grow in the spring” I bet you I can grow a pumpkin in the spring! How much of a change in So Cal is the weather from fall to spring. As for egg nog.. who decided it should only be used during the winter! I wouldn’t mind washing down a 4th of July hot dog with a tall cool mug of egg nog! Halloween is a holiday for women and kids. Women love to pretend their somebody they are not. That’s why weddings and proms are so important. How many holidays are women going to get they already got Valentines day! I SAY NAY! I refuse to celebrate Halloween this year in protest.

Mr. Halloween

In Addition, the inventor of Halloween has got this all wrong! He invented the holiday in October…WHAT AN IDIOT!!! This Mr. Halloween guy created a holiday that has women wearing the least amount of clothes possible which is brilliant! However, there are some that don’t dress crazy slutty because it is too cold outside. To accommodate these ladies you have to move the holiday to August! This way society can get the maximum potential of women dressed as whores! No worries we will still have pumpkins, I will be growing them in the summer!

Now for the Picks of the week...

College Football

Ohio State over Wisconsin
Virginia over Wake Forest
Clemson over Duke
Kansas over Nebraska
Georgia over Troy
Auburn over Tennessee Tech
Boise State over San Jose State
Michigan over Michigan State
Texas over Oklahoma State
Cincinnati over South Florida
LSU over Alabama
Missouri over Colorado
Oregon over Arizona State
Connecticut over Rutgers
BC over Florida State
Oklahoma over Texas A&M
USC over Oregon State

NFL (Week 9)
Lions over Broncos
49ers over Falcons
Bengals over Bills
Titans over Panthers
Chiefs over Packers
Chargers over Vikings
Saints over Jags
Redskins over Jets
Bucks over Cards
Seahawks over Browns
Patriots over Colts
Raiders over Texans
Cowboys over Eagles
Steelers over Ravens