My worst fears have finally been realized. I often wake up with a petrified look on my face sweating from the hellish nightmare I just experienced. In my mind it is always lurking like a stalker in the night. Everywhere I turn my nightmare follows. The worst thing is even when I wake up my nightmare still exists. One might think I’m afraid of terrorist attacks, sharks, or earthquakes but none of these even holds a candle to my deepest fear…dust! It’s been 4 months since I’ve moved in to my own place and the epic battle between myself and dust has never gotten more heated. Living on your own is tough, it’s the first time I’ve been introduced to dust, and let me tell you I can see some serious problems formulating between those particles and myself. It’s EVERYWHERE. It’s on my TV, my desk, my table and it never stops! Up until now, I’ve lived a glorious dust-free life with OCD parents and a lady who cleaned once-a-week, so I thought about dust as much as I thought about Ancient Greek farming techniques. Now, it’s all I can think about. During my pre-dust life, I used to have so much more free time to think about really philosophical things like, “how do they pack all that cheese in a tiny CHEESE-IT?” Now all of my intelligence is being consumed due to dust! One might say the easy solution is to get some sort of device and clean it. That’s a great idea and all except for the fact that I don’t have a clue how to keep up a household. I just learned how to work my oven. It turns out the bottom part of the oven is NOT a storage space like originally thought but the burner. If dust cleaning were considered to be at the pinnacle of advanced cleaning techniques, I have a long way to go. I’m merely on the step of how to operate the dishwasher. However, dust doesn’t wait for me to catch up and just keeps pilling on. It’s just so time consuming. Do you have any idea how much Sportcenter I would miss if I actually cleaned my dust properly? It’s just too bad that dust is considered socially unacceptable because then we could coexist. However, someone has to win in this epic battle and so far I’ve been left in the dust.
